janeena replied to your post: I had a magnificently wonderful day. I got a job….
You are utterly delightful! So glad you had a good day.
Thank you so much!!janeena :D
I had a magnificently wonderful day.
I got a job. I had a stellar interview. I’m going to work at Knott’s Berry Farm. This summer’s going to rule.
I made it with plenty of time before class, so I got myself some ice cream. Class was fine; uneventful.
I went to do an interview thing for the documentary that was made about the making of Out of the Frying Pan. We stood in a little studio upstairs in the back of the library with fancy cameras and bright lights, and Tony asked us (me, Stephani, Christee) questions about the process of the show, like character development and auditioning. It was awesome.
I ran into Evan and Jack in the parking lot before that, and they said “come by the fight show rehearsal and say hi to everyone!” and I was like okay maybe I will! And then Stephani and Christee after the interview said “come by the fight show rehearsal and say hi to everyone!” and I was like OKAY MAYBE I WILL! So I DID and it was WONDERFUL to see everyone. A bunch of people from the play, a ton of other theatre people, and they were all so so happy to see me. (And I saw Josh for a moment and he was wearing a purple hoodie and he’s still really attractive but it was okay because I’m a badass today. And he said “it’s good to see you” and in my head I was like you’re damn right it is, I’m fabulous)
And now Kelly and I are baking cookies and today and the past few days have just been really really really nice and good.now if i can just pass these classes things will be 100% marvelous
Finally talked to my family about Josh things and got really really really reassured and feel so much better. They said things that, when I said them to myself, I always found ways to think I was wrong. But they reassured me so much. Kelly was absolutely appalled when I told about “Hit me up next time you’re in Long Beach”. She said it made her want to punch him. It was SO nice to hear that because it’s one of the things that I’ve been most upset about but have never known if I’m overreacting. (Mom was too, and she mentioned many times how rude he was to stop talking like this. But Mom’s like that about most boy things, so I have to take her with a grain of salt most of the time.) But yeah, they all agreed that I was right and he was wrong. It was wonderful, and in conjunction with the great time I had last night when people actually wanted to have me around and invited me to things, I feel better about everything and reaffirmed in myself.good good good things
It is really nice and reassuring and affirming to hang out with awesome people who like the same stuff you do and enjoy talking to you about the things you like most.batman and comedy and TV shows i had a good night
Group interview at Knott’s Berry Farm on Monday!! I MIGHT WORK IN A THEME PARKthought i was just going to turn in my application but there were a ton of people around and the guy was like 'we'll call your name' so i waited for about 45 minutes and then did a five-minute interview and yeah we'll see!
Well in that case: I know nothing about romance!!! (I hope you receive some.)
Nor I, apparently!! (Thank you very much.)
ps everybody just because I’m calling it doesn’t mean I’ll stop talking about it because lord knows I’ll still have thoughts bouncing around that need sayin’ somewheresyou will because you r gr8 groundspeed
(I don’t know the deets of this BUT I’ve known a lot of people who have been Super Best Pals So Great while in close quarters but disappear completely when not. ~Out of sight, out of mind~ sucks but is usually not due to any distaste. Maybe??
Thank you. Yeah I know what you mean, and that I can understand! Been there a ton with friendships. But the thing about this one was that it was a ~romantical~ thing. And he said things like “I’d like to make sure we don’t stop hanging out after the show is over”. And it seemed to be pretty clearly going somewhere. So like I have no idea!! And I’m sad and annoyed but I’ve done my best and that’s all you can do.
I just remind myself that a) I’m okay on my own — I’m great on my own, b) this stuff will be easier when I actually live in the same city as people, c) just because it’s never worked before doesn’t mean it never will, and d) just because it was the best so far doesn’t mean something else won’t be just as good.it'll be better groundspeed thank you friend
All right. I’m calling it.
I don’t know what happened (I hope I find out sometime), but I’m going to move on now. I don’t want to. I bring to mind things he said and did while the show was going on, and it’s all perfect and good. I was right, I am right, there’s no way I misread anything, at all. I bring to mind the past couple of weeks, and I don’t understand. At all.
But I can tell when to call it. I’ve always been able to tell in the past; I’ve just waited until way after to actually make the decision to move on. (When it’s not on my side, that is — whenever it’s me, when I’m the one who doesn’t want it, I say so. Right away. Clearly and honestly. It’s when the someone else isn’t saying anything that I hang on.) I’m not going to do that this time. I’m annoyed. I’m frustrated because I don’t understand how things were so good and right and then…?
So if somehow things turn good and right again, I’ll figure it out when I get there. But I’m not leaving room for expecting that it’s a possibility anymore. This isn’t cynicism, or even self-preservation; I wouldn’t be at this point if it didn’t seem like “it’s over already” was the most likely reality.
So even though I don’t know what happened — and if the opportunity presents itself, I’ll ask (I’d like to out of indignation anyway, but I don’t feel a need to; I’m okay on my own) — I’m leaving it.i will see him again in the coming weeks -- fight show; awards show and i'll come with the same eyes and the same smiles and the same feelings and i'll be the same openness and honesty but i won't expect anything